December 11, 2020
It has been 37 days since President-Elect Joe Biden soundly defeated one-term President Donald Trump. Since then, Trump and his legal “strike force” have been handed a courtroom defeat more than once a day in their effort to overturn the election. Apparently they actually were tired of winning. And if you are 1–55 in court cases, and need to bring respectability and likability to your legal team so as to charm judges, to whom should you turn?
Clearly, Ted “Zodiak Killer” Cruz. Well, at least according to… Ted “Zodiak Killer” Cruz.
December 4, 2020
Well, the president’s krak team of lawyers continued to dominate the news this week by losing case after case in court after court. The team, which “lawyer” Jenna Ellis dubbed as an “elite legal strike force” has suffered more court losses than the Cleveland Cavaliers, and that’s saying something.
In addition to their three and a half dozen losses so far, the elite legal strike force has upcoming losses scheduled in Georgia, Wisconsin, and for the eleventeenth time, in Pennsylvania. These guys have lost in Pennsylvania more often than the Cleveland Browns, and that’s saying something.
November 26, 2020
In honor of the fact that Q-Anon conspiracy theorist and now former-felon Michael Flynn has been pardoned by President Trump, we thought we would present the following Democracy Massacree.
Enjoy! Happy Thanksgiving!
Q can get anything it wants at Malice’s restaurant
Q can get anything it wants at Malice’s restaurant
Walk right in, unless you’re black
But you’re gonna have to give to Trump’s Super PAC
Q can get anything it wants at Malice’s restaurant
This song is called “Malice’s Restaurant It’s about Malice, and the Restaurant, but “Malice’s Restaurant” is not really a restaurant, That’s just…
November 19, 2020
We are not going to say that Donald Trump’s attempted coup (“coup d’etwat” as we’ve previously referred to it) is an amateurish mess, but… if this coup team were in the NFL, they’d be the Jets.
The Winnipeg Jets. Yes, that bad.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but the legal team is currently 1–33 in the courtroom, and today they held their first press conference outside of a landscape business in weeks, and the big takeaway was that the shoe polish Rudy Giuliani uses to color his “hair” seems to melt under the…
November 12, 2020
Before we get started with this abbreviated week in review, let us just say how glad we are to be back.
Our last issue was 17 years ago, on July 30, 2020. We assume nothing has changed since we left, so we’ve turned a beautiful corner and the coronavirus is a distant memory, Joe Biden can’t win the general election unless he chooses Elizabeth Warren as his nominee, though luckily Florida is in the bag. Even if it’s not and a court battle ensues, Justice Roberts will join Ruth Bader Ginsberg and the court’s liberals in doing…
July 30, 2020
For all those who have wondered just how much more bizarre the Trump years could get? We have an answer. Things could get demon semen bizarre. That’s how much. Just when you thought there was no further to go, we learn that this one goes to eleven.
For those of you who don’t know where this semen stuff is coming from, here’s the jizzt of the story:
President Trump this week retweeted a video by a “Doctor” who says that schools should reopen, because there is a cure for COVID-19… hydroxychloroquine and that masks are unnecessary. Other…
July 23, 2020
Lyndon Johnson had his war on Poverty. Richard Nixon had the war on drugs. Following their lead, Donald Trump is opening a war of his own … the War on …the Beaver State?
Indeed, that is not a typo. Russia is paying bounties for U.S. soldiers, coronavirus cases are spiraling out of control, 1.4 million new first-time jobless claims were filed last week — and at least 30 million Americans are collecting unemployment benefits … and President Trump has leapt into action, sending heavily armed troops in minivans to Oregon.
Every time Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg gets a medical procedure (which is way too often for my liking), a small chorus of people rises up to say that because of her age and health concerns she should have retired during the Obama administration.
I have several problems with that argument.
First, it is demeaning to Justice Ginsburg — it is predicated on the idea that she brings no unique experience, skills, intellect, and insights to the court. Justice Ginsburg’s body of work, both before she was elevated to the Supreme Court and since, have made the nation a…
July 16, 2020
For most of America’s history, great challenges have forged and elevated the presidents who confronted them — Washington with the pressure of setting the standard, Lincoln during the Civil War, Roosevelt during the Great Depression, and Reagan during the Cola Wars. There can be no denying that, today, we are facing challenges on par with those: global pandemic; civil unrest in the streets; 32 million people unemployed; RBG getting hospitalized. …
Bouchard (1967-Now) is an American “writer” & “humorist.” A cyclist, he’s tied w/ Lance Armstrong in Tour de France wins. Combined w/ Jeff Bezos, is worth $100B