Donald Trump: Don’t Worry, I Got This
This Weak in Politics, Vol. 195
August 15, 2019
America sure picked an awful time to have the worst person on earth as president, and yet here we are.
Global warming is hitting the tipping point, the market is bouncing around like Trump’s testes when he’s freeballing in his tennis shorts,
and the tangerine douchenipple himself is fighting a trade war with China, the world looks headed for a recession, and the most notorious inmate in the entire US judicial system was able somehow to elude Barney Fife and Louie Gohmert in the old pokey.
And America has, literally, its worst person on the case.
Let’s start where most trouble usually starts — with the money.
The market took a tumble on Wednesday when a key indicator of a pending recession, an inverted yield curve (or “Peyronie”) on treasury notes, occurred.
While we don’t know much about inverted yield curves, we do know that it involves the yield on short-term bonds versus the yield on long-term bonds. Actually, we don’t even know what those terms mean either, but now, if someone (like Nicolle Wallace or Olivia Munn) Googles those terms, they may well end up here.
We literally know nothing about the economy, markets, or money. Think of us as the Jim Cramer of blogs.
Our basic understanding is that the curve is when the short-term bonds have a higher yield than long-term bonds. This is an indicator that investors believe, not to get too technical, that the shit is about to hit the fan.
In other words, the smaller bonds are supposed to be smaller and the bigger bonds are supposed to be bigger. Here’s a chart:
Non-Inverted Yield Curve
Inverted Yield-Curve
You’re welcome, Nicole and Olivia.
As for the notorious inmate who eluded justice…again, Jeffrey “Dahmer” Epstein this week died while in custody of the US criminal justice system. Seems that the part-time janitor and the Kelly Services temp left to keep an eye on him left, without keeping an eye on him.
Former respected person William “lower the” Barr, who is in charge of the US criminal justice system, vowed to find the person in charge of the US criminal justice system to get to the bottom of what happened. This will not be Barr’s first time scraping the bottom, merely the most recent.
The other target of the ire of Epstein observers is the Manhattan Correctional Center (MCC), which is still being hammered in the press even as we type.
Relations with China remain, well, exactly the way you’d think they’d remain with a conman turned reality TV host as president. Under Trump’s lack of leadership, the US is sending signals that it wants to engage in a full-fledged trade war with the Chinese, yet seems to also be sort-of-rooting-for China as it battles pro-democracy protestors in Hong Kong.
Now, to be fair, Sino-American relations have been strained ever since China took their damn pandas back.
Actually, since earlier than that. From the time former worst-president-ever, Richard Nixon, established diplomatic relations with China, US presidents have had to be very careful with the words and messages they send to the Asian nation, particularly when it comes to their relationships with Taiwan and Hong Kong. Here are just a few examples:
George W. Bush: “We oppose any unilateral decision, by either China or Taiwan, to change the status quo. And the comments and actions made by the leader of Taiwan indicate that he may be willing to make decisions unilaterally to change the status quo — which we oppose.”
Barack Obama: “Our primary message has been to make sure that violence is avoided as the people of Hong Kong try to sort through what the next phase is of their relationship to the mainland. There are certain things that the United States believes. We believe in freedom of speech. We believe in freedom of association. We believe in openness in government as befitting our traditions and our way of life.”
Donald Trump: “The Hong Kong thing is a very tough situation. Very tough. We’ll see what happens. But I’m sure it’ll work out. I hope it works out. For everybody. Including China, by the way. I hope it works out for everybody. It’s a very tricky situation. I think it will work out. And I hope it works out for liberty. I hope it works out for everybody, including China. I hope nobody gets hurt. I hope nobody gets killed.
In other news…
Actually, we are going to cut it here. Not because there isn’t more news, but because we just became a #%^*$&! Grandfather, and we have a human being we are going to know for the rest of our life to meet!
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