This Weak in Politics Vol. XXXI
July 7, 2016
Donald Trump step-tweeted on his own dick again this week by tweeting an image that appeared to be anti-Semitic, by people who think thoughts. Trump defended the tweet saying that the featured image was not a Star of David, but was a Sheriff’s badge. Once again, the GOP nominee found himself answering allegations that he often says things that have racial overtones and appear to be code words meant for a racist element of society, saying, “That’s absurd. Those people don’t like me because I call a spade a spade. So they are trying to lynch me. Well, I have news for them — my supporters are the silent majority, and we are a tight-knit klan. We are going to make America great again. It will be like a re-birth of a nation.”
In fairness to Trump, he was not alone in suggesting the tweet featured a sheriff’s badge. He was joined in this assessment by former Klan leader David Duke who called the tweet “absolutely true,” Then to fuehrer the point, Duke added the name of some prominent Jews next to Israeli flags.
Joining Trump and David Duke in the pin-the-badge-on-the-tweet game were CNN “analysts” Jeffrey Lord (famous for having a photograph of Ronald Reagan surgically attached to his right shoulder) and Corey Lewandowski (famous for grabbing reporters by the left shoulder). The Lord/Lewandowski pairing at CNN is part of the network’s new effort to bring the hipness of the WB, the action of TNT and the intellect of Fox to their own struggling network. To reflect the influence of the WB, TNT and Fox, the network will also change its call letters from CNN to WTF. It is a strategy that seems to be catching on, as nearly all of the 137 people who have seen the network seem to call out WTF? when someone accidentally turns to the station while searching for something more informative like Fox, MSNBC or QVC.
Earlier in the week, reports brought good news and bad news for Republicans who fear that Trump might be unwilling to doing things that presidential candidates must do. The good news is, he has selected an experienced hand to vet his potential vice presidential picks. The bad news is, that hand got its experience by vetting Sarah Palin. On the hopeful side, his vetting team may well have learned their lesson. On the downside, Trump may end up with Bill Cosby as his running mate.
Others in the running to be the number two’s number two include Indiana Governor Mike Pence, famous for courageously leading the fight against gay wedding cakes, Newt Gingrich, famous for needing lots of heterosexual wedding cakes, and Chris Christie, famous for…nope, not going to do it. Cake jokes here would be inappropriate, and mean-spirited. We are anything but mean-spirited (@KatyTurNBC take note…please?).
Trump also criticized Clinton for riding on Air Force One with President Obama to a campaign stop in North Carolina this week, calling it a total disgrace. This is yet another example of Trump dick-stepping, as Air ForceOneGhaziGate isn’t even the most troubling thing involving a Clinton and an airplane in the last week, let alone a story worth re-tweeting.
Which brings us to the big story of the week. Hillary Clinton breathed a sigh of relief this week as the FBI issued a report saying she had been extremely careless as secretary of state, failed to follow rules and protocols, and put our national security at risk. It’s the nicest thing that’s been said about her in weeks. FBI director James Comey then added the six words that Clinton has had dreams of for years (no, not “I, Hillary Clinton, do solemnly swear.”) The six dreamed of words were “no reasonable prosecutor would bring charges.” On cue, House republicans immediately started prosecuting the case.
The allegation from Republicans is that the way these events unfolded were suspect at best. At the very moment Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were boarding Air Force One, Comey was announcing his recommendation of no indictment. The following day, Attorney General/Bill Clinton’s friends-fly-free-on-southwest partner Loretta Lynch announced the Department of Justice would not seek an indictment. Never one’s to add fuel to the conspiracy fire, Democrats then leaked news that as President, Hillary Clinton would likely keep Loretta Lynch on as Attorney General, from the very soundstage where the moon-landing was faked.
For her part, Hillary immediately pivoted off the email issue and got back to the theme of her campaign — taking Bernie Sanders’s ideas, but unveiling them to smaller crowds, and reminding voters that her opponent is Donald Trump.
The speculation around Hillary’s potential picks for vice president also grew this week. Many pundits believe that as a result of the tough news cycle stemming from the Comey announcement, Hillary’s strategic objective is simple. She needs to find someone more likable than she is, and less embroiled in scandal. Unfortunately for those who like to speculate, this only eliminates Donald Trump, Tom Brady and the aforeimprisoned Dennis Hastert.
The other imperative for Clinton is to find someone who will not overshadow her. This narrows the field to Senator Tim Kaine and, well, Senator Tim Kaine.
And that guy…the labor one. Tom Perez.
Or is it Tom Kaine and Tim Perez? Whatever…she’s not Donald Trump.
And that was this abbreviated holiday week.
We leave you with a TBT to our very first issue, from 240 years ago, a simpler time, when our founding fathers had no idea just how badly we could fuck this thing up.
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