This Weak in Politics Vol. XXXIII
July 21, 2016
The big story this week and perhaps this year is that it is now official — the Republican Party wants desperately to lose yet another popular vote and possibly another election. To prove this, they have nominated Donald Day Trump (not to be confused with Donald Gay Trump) as their standard-bearer.
Republicans met in Cleveland to formalize the nomination and introduce the world to a new, presidential Donald Trump. Day one got off to a rocky start (which was brilliantly covered here). Day two saw the actual nomination, and the remainder of the first two days was devoted to, well…Trump and the selflessness of Trump.
The speakers delivering the “this has never been about Trump” message included Melania Trump, Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Jr., Tiffany Trump, Eric Trump and the heads of Trump Winery, Trump Steaks, Trump Tower, Trump Airlines, Trump Holdings, Trump Enterprises and Trump University.
Sticking to their campaign plan of never staying on a good message, the Trump campaign immediately stepped on this story and was able to snag defeat from the jaws of victory. They achieved this on day one by having Melania Trump, who is capable of not just using her own words, but using them clearly and coherently in a half a dozen languages, deliver a plagiarized speech. Rather than admit the error quickly, they dispatched campaign-consultant-to-the-dictators, Paul Manafort to do what he does best.
Trump finally spoke up about the kerfuffle around his wife’s speech by suggesting it was a minor mistake by his staff and that he does not condone plagiarism. Still, he defended the speech, adding “the kids named the speech Checkers. And you know, the kids, like all kids, loved the speech and I just want to say this right now, that regardless of what they say about it, we’re gonna keep it.”
Day two lacked the fireworks of day one but was the day in which Trump formally received the nomination and addressed his subjects via video broadcast throughout the hall.
Throughout the convention there was a subtle tip of the hat to Trump and his TV franchise, Celebrity Apprentice in the form of the convention featuring apprentice celebrities: Scott Baio, Antonio Sabato (he is the Antonio even less famous than Banderas), and Chris Christie. The biggest of these “celebrities,” Stephen Baldwin, famous mostly for being the brother of Billy Baldwin (think of him as the Jeb! of the Baldwin family), has been in attendance, but has not, as of this writing, been allowed to speak. Not being allowed to speak at a convention in which Chachi, the head of Ultimate Fighting and Rudy Giuliani are allowed to speak has to really sting.
Scott Baio, (famous for being in a role in Happy Days even less well known than Potsie) who gave a speech almost as unmemorable as Michael Mukasey’s (and we are not even sure what show he was in) got more attention for a pre-convention act — the tweeting of a picture of Hillary with the c-word visible.
Baio, who also played Joanie in the short lived series Joanie Loves Chachi, defended the tweet saying he posted it without comment and that she (Hillary) is standing in front of the word “count.”
We can certainly understand how that happened as something similar happened with some photos we had of Scott Baio:
Day three of the convention is the day EVERYONE has been waiting for — if you define everyone as “several members of Mike Pence’s (sp?) family. But before we get to the Vice Presidential nominee, the theme of the evening was uniting to win the presidency. Among the featured speakers were such noted experts on winning the presidency as Newt Gingrich, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio and Scott Walker. Nothing says fresh leadership for the future like having Newt Gingrich speak at your convention. In fairness to Gingrich, he is an historic figure. 21 years ago, he oversaw the longest government shutdown in US history, mostly because he got a middle seat on a long flight. And 20 years ago, Gingrich made history again as the first speaker ever disciplined for an ethics violation. This also made him a trailblazer as future Republican speakers have since resigned under sex scandals, withdrawn from consideration due to sex scandals, and gone to prison for behavior concealing sex scandals.
The main task for Gingrich, Cruz, Rubio and Walker was to push back on the vicious attacks against Trump. Specifically, that his remarks on a judge of Mexican ethnicity were inexcusable, that he is utterly immoral, a pathological liar, unfit for the presidency, a child, a dangerous con man, the most vulgar person ever to seek the presidency, a poor choice, and someone who says things that run directly at odds with our core beliefs and principles — attacks that were leveled by Gingrich, Cruz, Rubio and Walker.
As for the VP pick, aka Trump’s #2, Mike Pence’s task was even more clear — renounce his historical past of occasional bouts of normalcy and rational thinking, and fully embrace the idea that for the rest of his life he will be known as “you know…the Phil Donahue looking guy who was Trump’s running mate that time…I don’t remember his name…Google it.” Pence is the poor man’s John Kasich (sp?) — actually, he is also the rich man’s Kasich as evidenced by stories that broke this week that Donald Trump’s team had been begging Kasich to take the number to slot with the same fervor with which Chris Christie begged Trump for the said-same slot. Though it is unclear if Trump’s overture to Kasich also included the taint in the mouth thing, which we will never bring up again. We are just saying there is something about the body language. We are not saying it happened, but there is something going on.
The characteristics that made Pence the perfect choice were that a) all the good candidates said no, including Kasich, b) he has a pulse, and c) he is not a larger than life personality. In fact, Pence sort of fits right in Trump’s hands (which is really saying something).
The pick of Pence is also of notable importance in light of the news that Trump’s family had told prospective Vice Presidential picks that his father would put them in control of “foreign policy” and “domestic policy,” so he could ostensibly focus on the non-working parts of the job.
And that is how the weak convened this week.
If you enjoy reading TWITPOL please seek help. But please also follow us, recommend this story, share it, and do all sorts of other things that the kids these days do. Follow us on medium and on twitter at @sbouchard67
(Note: As of press time (which we made up as we aren’t real, and are never on time) Mike Kasich…err…Pence had not yet spoken. Other people (and 2020 failed Republican nominee Ted Cruz) were also yet to speak. We will include comments on their remarks in tomorrow’s special convention edition. We will also resume coverage of the Democrats and Bernie Sanders next week).
