Who Can Make The Scum Rise? The Klansy Man Can!

August 13, 2018

For the first time since January 20th, 2017, racists gathered just outside the White House to celebrate their, umm…supremacy. While small, the Unite the Right 2 “Rally” was also the largest gathering of racists in Washington since Trump and his entourage departed for Bedminster, NJ which seems like it was 6 months ago. This year’s event was called “Unite the Right 2,” not because it was the second annual event, but to recognize that both members were able to get their mom’s permission to be there. (More on moms to follow. Or is it moron moms? We digress.)

For this particular event, tens of racists (at least avowed ones), showed up to give each other a mini circle jerk, cost the government millions, and scurry away into the night to their sister-mom’s basement.

That is not a regional joke, but come on, these are faces only a sister-mom could love.

And yes, that is the actual Unite the Right Rally 2! They were given a DC Metro rail car all to themselves. They could’ve fit in a Volkswagen. (Yes, we went there.)

The racists have come a long way in just a few months. They are also enjoying newfound power and fame, and in some instances, actual levers of government. They have gone from right wing nut jobs to West Wing top jobs. When they began supporting Trump, they did not think they were actually going to be successful in electing a president — they were merely trying to raise a führer.

Many of our regular reader(s) will recall that TWITPOL recently had a major technological breakthrough — we discovered our iPhone can be USED AS A CAMERA! As such, we have begun covering more and more events on the scene. As soon as we learned some of the nation’s most notorious racists were holding a rally, we dispatched ourself to the event as we knew we had a question that needed answering.

To defend against charges that they’ve worsened race relations in this country and that they are dog whistlers for racists, the Trump administration went to great lengths to show their staff is diverse and inclusive.

Here’s our next contestant to try to answer the question…

One more try?

Looks like we have a winner!

We can’t help but wonder if Ja’Ron is the same gentleman Trump referred to as “my African American” during the 2016 campaign 47 years ago.

Ja’Ron took the title of “complete list of key African American” staffers when Omarosa left the White House to spend more time with her recordings. She also wrote a book about her time in the White House, called “Unhinged.” The book has created problems for booksellers (Millennials, we can explain this term later), as they are unsure whether to file it under “fiction,” “non-fiction,” or “holy shit, there are more tapes!”

In other early week news, on Monday, the president fired FBI agent Peter Strzok. Trump has now fired the FBI Director, the Deputy FBI Director, the Acting Attorney General, the US Attorney for the Southern District of New York, and the Director of the Government Office of Ethics. Because that’s what innocent people do.

Oh, and Omarosa. He also fired Omarosa.

Thank God for Ja’Ron.

And that’s the way the weak spent the early part of the week…to the best of our knowledge. (h/t to Donald Trump.)

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Steve Bouchard

Steve Bouchard


Bouchard (1967-Now) is an American “writer” & “humorist.” A cyclist, he’s tied w/ Lance Armstrong in Tour de France wins. Combined w/ Jeff Bezos, is worth $100B